It’s something many of us would rather not think about: What do I do if my aging parent is disabled and requires care that I cannot give?

Physical independence is often unappreciated freedom. Most of us would prefer to grow old in the comfort of our own homes and in the company of our family and friends. Unfortunately, when a parentʻs capacity to meet their own physical and intellectual needs decline, if you cannot provide care for them, you may need to encourage them into a nursing home.

You have options when a parent is reluctant

Sometimes, it’s better to outsource the conversation. You could try having a physician, a close friend or a spiritual director explain the circumstances to your parent. There can be plenty of positive aspects to assisted living including social events and activities as well as prepared meals and quick access to medical care. Hearing from someone other than their children might make the transition easier to accept. 

If your parent suffers from Alzheimer’s, stroke, dementia or other serious health problems, even an honest conversation with a third party may not be enough to convince them that moving to a nursing home is in their best interest. In these cases, you may need to obtain legal guardianship. Being a court-appointed guardian empowers you to make decisions regarding medical care, finances, living arrangements and more. 

Texas elder law has specific requirements to meet for guardianship to be granted. Consulting with a professional will offer some ease while you work through this sometimes complicated process. Making such a big transition can be hard on your parent, so do all you can to offer compassion and support along the way.